Dipping into the passion pool this morning....

My heart is burning this morning. Truly burning. I have been watching recording sessions of Celine Dion this morning. It is truly good for my soul and not in the way you might think. If you caught some of my bio, you would see that I too am a recording artist as well, just not in the capacity that Celine is....but when I watch her in the studio, my heart burns in the desire to be there myself. I am drawn to it like a fly to the flame. Take me to a Broadway Show and I cry through most of it. Why? I have such a burning desire to be there. I want to be on that stage more than anything. Sometimes I look around me and see all seven of my children and how I am getting older and it frightens me. Am I missing my calling? This is when I need to turn to help to soften the voices that speak untruths in my head. More on that later. What do I do to help quench the burning, scalding flame in my heart, well sing, of course. Thankfully, I have an delicious outlet in my church with adoring fans to boot. I am in my element in my song. I am connected to my creator and I fill my cup full with passion as I live my destiny in my song. I am lifted up, up into a spiritual realm and the emotions that fill me are contagiously flowing into the atmosphere around me. I am one with the souls present and that passion is what drives me to keep believing, keep hoping that maybe one day I could share my passion with more people. I want to shout out to the world! Here I am! Take me! I want to share my song with you....and then there are dishes, shouting (the kid kind, mostly) floors to be washed, things to be organized, places to go, appointments to be met...and I let myself be distracted from the fire in my heart.

Sometimes, in the quite, I wonder if it is all slipping away from my fingers and maybe it is just where I am supposed to be and I weep the loss of my imagined singing career. Then other times I could see so clearly being on stage, I could almost touch it. Those are the times that my heart soars in anticipation and I allow myself to have an expectation that almost hurts since I cannot see it at this moment in time. I don't expect to be Celine. I am not, nor will I ever be her. I am me. I want to be me.

One very special lady truly helps me in my spells and internal trials. Her name is Byron Katie and she could help you too, if you allow her. Google her name. She is truly a treasure. If she were here right now, she would say to me, "Tell me your statement" and I would tell her something like: "Being an at home Mom is not allowing me to live out my dream to be a singer" and she would say, "can you absolutely know that this is true?" and I would tell her: "No Katie, I cannot." Then she would say: "Do you know without a shadow of a doubt that your statement is true?" Then she would say: "Who would you be without that thought?" and I would tell her, "blissful, happy, carefree, hopeful, a kinder person, not fearful of my future." Then she would probably say: "What kind of Mom would you be without that thought?" and I would say: "kinder to my children, more of joyful Mom"....and she would say: "exactly." How cleansing is that?

So, in my self session today, I guess my point is to heal myself and maybe give others the power of The Work of Byron Katie. In this New Year, I hope that I could share the treasure I have found in this amazing woman. She helps me keep the flame of my dream alive.

All the Best,
Your Friend,
Alicia
http://AandDmusic.airset.com